Community Forums

petrel · 10-06-2020, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RonLC

I want to say something to them but they are not the type to take this information in the spirit intended. They know pretty much everything about everything.

What should I do?

With this in mind, I'm gonna go with saying nothing.

mokurt · 10-06-2020, 05:37 AM

If you are really uncomfortable talking to your so called neighbors just leave a anonymous note on their coach window since they have not invited you to check it out.

They may not like the fact you were checking out their coach.

Dav L · 10-06-2020, 05:57 AM

Tell them you just learned from iRV2 forum that tires are subject to aging out and you plan to budget to replace yours in X years. Ask them if they ever heard of that maintenance subject and do they have a plan to replace when "it's time".

**Spdracr39** · 10-06-2020, 06:25 AM

Just mention that the tires look like they are in need of attention then move on and let it go. They will either check it out or not and you have done your part.

egwilly · 10-06-2020, 07:01 AM

Verbally or by written article....let them know.

Why? It's not just their lives you are saving!

If they say mind your own business, you at least planted a seed.

schad · 10-06-2020, 09:13 AM

It's possible that they are planning to replace the tires in the spring, after storing the RV for the winter. Maybe they depleted their cash reserves to buy the RV and need to save. There are a lot of perfectly legitimate and understandable reasons that they may intend to replace the tires and just haven't done it yet. Heck, they may literally have a set of brand new tires sitting in their garage, just waiting to get put on the RV.

The point is that you don't know. Because you don't know, you should be careful not to act as if you do know.

So my advice is to ask them point-blank if they intend to replace their tires.

If they say they do, then job done: drop it and never speak of it again.

If they say they don't, they will probably want to know why you ask. That is when you mention the sidewall cracks. You can also, at this time, say that RV tires have a typical life expectancy of no more than seven years, and tell them where to find the date code so they can check it themselves.

Never, never, never offer unsolicited "education" to anybody. It invariably comes off as condescending. Well, it doesn't just come off that way, it is condescending. And that's what people are reacting negatively to. It's not that people don't want to learn. They just don't want to be treated like ignorant dummies, and while it may be theoretically possible to offer unsolicited advice to somebody without treating them like an ignorant dummy, I've sure never seen it happen.

Oh, and my personal opinion on those anonymous notes is that it's cowardly and passive-aggressive. Be a man (or woman, as appropriate). If you have a problem with someone -- and you do; that is why you started this thread -- at least show them enough respect to voice your problems to their face and give them a chance to respond. And yes, that may mean taking some abuse. That's what being an adult means. It means accepting the consequences of your actions instead of hiding behind a piece of paper taped to their windshield.

RonLC · 10-06-2020, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by schad

It's possible that they are planning to replace the tires in the spring, after storing the RV for the winter. Maybe they depleted their cash reserves to buy the RV and need to save. There are a lot of perfectly legitimate and understandable reasons that they may intend to replace the tires and just haven't done it yet. Heck, they may literally have a set of brand new tires sitting in their garage, just waiting to get put on the RV.

The point is that you don't know. Because you don't know, you should be careful not to act as if you do know.

So my advice is to ask them point-blank if they intend to replace their tires.

If they say they do, then job done: drop it and never speak of it again.

If they say they don't, they will probably want to know why you ask. That is when you mention the sidewall cracks. You can also, at this time, say that RV tires have a typical life expectancy of no more than seven years, and tell them where to find the date code so they can check it themselves.

Never, never, never offer unsolicited "education" to anybody. It invariably comes off as condescending. Well, it doesn't just come off that way, it is condescending. And that's what people are reacting negatively to. It's not that people don't want to learn. They just don't want to be treated like ignorant dummies, and while it may be theoretically possible to offer unsolicited advice to somebody without treating them like an ignorant dummy, I've sure never seen it happen.

Oh, and my personal opinion on those anonymous notes is that it's cowardly and passive-aggressive. Be a man (or woman, as appropriate). If you have a problem with someone -- and you do; that is why you started this thread -- at least show them enough respect to voice your problems to their face and give them a chance to respond. And yes, that may mean taking some abuse. That's what being an adult means. It means accepting the consequences of your actions instead of hiding behind a piece of paper taped to their windshield.

All good points. Thanks.

They have more money than a world wide church based in Rome. They just bought it from a "farmer who did all his maintenance and knows a lot about everything RV"

Then they cluelessly drove it over a thousand miles to South Florida.

I am going to talk to the husband next time I see him because he is more approachable than "Her Highness".

JohnBoyToo · 10-06-2020, 09:24 AM

Agree with telling them, more so to ease your conscience(that's a good thing!),

but don't leave it to their research, be direct to help them - sounds like they are new to coaches and may not know everything...

A new coach makes for a learning curve that includes "if it's not broke, don't fix it" thinking... so sometimes pointing out the important pushes it ahead of the urgent like changing the curtain color

schad · 10-06-2020, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnBoyToo

Agree with telling them, more so to ease your conscience(that's a good thing!),

but don't leave it to their research, be direct to help them - sounds like they are new to coaches and may not know everything...

A new coach makes for a learning curve that includes "if it's not broke, don't fix it" thinking... so sometimes pointing out the important pushes it ahead of the urgent like changing the curtain color

Sometimes you can successfully be indirect by "complaining" about your own RV. Like, "Oh man, when I got mine the tires were already all cracked and I had to spend $x,000 on all new tires."

Whether that works depends on your neighbors. It doesn't work on me; I'm too suspicious and/or untrusting, I guess. But many people will interpret it simply as bonding over a shared misery.

Solo_RV_Guy · 10-06-2020, 09:36 AM

Most men see themselves as fixers and solvers of problems. I think you're right to approach the Mister of the family. I'd start with "wow, you found a really nice coach, can you tell me about it?" Let him talk. Eventually he'll show you around and you might just notice the sidewall cracking. "My tires looked like that and my tire guy freaked out, told me they were probably due for replacement" (higher authority appeal). "Just one of the expenses that goes with having nice things."

The trick to dealing with people who view themselves as self-made (or have other ego inflation) is for them to think something is their idea.

kcdogger · 10-06-2020, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RonLC

All good points. Thanks.

They have more money than a world wide church based in Rome. They just bought it from a "farmer who did all his maintenance and knows a lot about everything RV"

Then they cluelessly drove it over a thousand miles to South Florida.

I am going to talk to the husband next time I see him because he is more approachable than "Her Highness".

Normally, I would just tell my neighbors I saw their new coach, noticed the tires have some cracking and suggest that they might want to have them checked. But I get the feeling in your case part of the motivation is to have a "gotcha" moment. Might be best to mind your own business.

Arch Hoagland · 10-06-2020, 10:24 AM

They know everything? Use that to your advantage.

"Hey my friend I need new tires on my coach and need to know the best tire to buy and from what tire dealer. Where are you buying the replacements for the tires on your RV?"

Mr Ted · 10-06-2020, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chunker

My comments would be to remark what a nice RV it is and ask them what their research found as the best tires for it. Indicating you may need tires soon because yours are cracking some and aging out. In other word don't tell them what they need to do, ask them what the found out. It's a shame some people are "offended" so easily and you have to dance around the subject.

Some people when they hear "you need" or "you should" take offense that you are meddling and acting superior to them. Frankly I try to avoid pansies like that because I AM superior and don't need to hang around cupcakes and snowflakes.

Just my not so humble opinion.

Well Said ..

Bsipe01 · 10-06-2020, 10:40 AM

Either have enough self respect for a face-to-face and ask questions without using "you" rather than offer unsolicited advice.

Tape a note to their windshield?? REALLY, Karen??

What are we, in 5th grade?? If you must resort to that tactic, I don't want to hear from you under any circumstances unless you banged my door in a parking lot.