Lack of courtesy here drives people away from the forum

[nbluesky]

Originally Posted by MSHappyCampers

You're not going to believe this! I had never even noticed that "Thanks" button until it was mentioned here!

I'm gonna push it and see what happens!

OK, I tried it with Old Biscuit and it said my "thanks" was sent, but where does he see it?

Wow!! 47,000 posts and you just saw that Yeah I really enjoy the "like" button on other sites. The thanks button is clunky. Also just posting a bunch of thank yous is kind of distracting from the thread but I really try to thank everyone and show gratitude. I have really enjoyed being a part of this site in my short time on here.

[Ray,IN]

Originally Posted by PS56

A simple thank you goes a long way but for many people that is too much work. Many here and I have given good advise yet a simply reply with thank you seems too much work.

Also, others and I have quoted a person to ask a question to help yet do not get a reply.

In part I can understand that the 'thank you' option in the forum isn't the best.

I think this is one reason why good long term posters leave.

And yet it is the largest RVing forum on the internet.

[Ray,IN]

Originally Posted by tap4154

By the way, when I talked about alerts in other forums I'm in, here's an example. When I go back to this forum that I haven't been on in a while, in the right corner there's a little lightning bolt symbol with a 1 on it. That means someone either liked or quoted one of my posts. I don't have to go into my user profile, and I don't get emails from the forum, I just see the alerts and then I know that someone has replied. Clicking on the lightning bolt opens up the alerts.

All threads which have new posts since your last visit will have a bright light bulb in the left column, no new posts the bulb is not bright.

[PS56]

Originally Posted by SeeTheUSA

I got one recently that said, “ You're welcome … even though you didn’t say thanks.”

What poster was that?

[carybosse]

Originally Posted by NLOVNIT

The site team here tries their best to "clarify" thread titles so members have some idea with what a member is needing assistance. We have to do this because having descriptive information in a thread title is what drives people here who Google topics looking for info. Rarely does someone Google just the word "HELP!!!!"....which is one of the most common generic thread titles we see.

Unfortunately, we're a small, volunteer staff & can't possibly read every title that gets posted. So some slip by. We rely on members to put enough info in a thread or post title to give our members some clue what the subject is. If more members would do that, it'd go a long way to getting them answers in a timely manner.

As to the "lack of courtesy", some just weren't taught to say thank you (boy I sure was!). I don't help for the kudos. I help because I get satisfaction myself when I solve another member's problem.

You couldn't pay me to take on the job of moderating a website.

I don't expect a thanks for any replies or solutions I offer. The guys & gals here have already helped me tremendously since I joined. Just in the last 2-3 days I have read comments that gave me solutions to issues I didn't even know I had. I figure that it is my duty to try to help out where I can in return.

I am still trying to learn how to make my way around the site. A different website I frequent has a button to look at latest posts. However, on this site, once you you at a post, it no longer pops up on the NEW POSTS link. On the other website, the thread remains, it just is not highlighted. I lose track of posts and can't make my way back to them a lot of times. I'll figure it out eventually.

This website has more activity & participation that almost any website I have ever joined.

[GypsyR]

I think if you expect everyone on an internet forum to conform to you personal standards of behavior, you're probably not going to enjoy your time on it.
Nor can you expect others to respond in a timely manner. We don't know what's going on on their end. Life, kids, work, coronaries, internet outages, we really have no way of knowing.

I've been here a little while now and have seen very few posts that are off-putting in some way. Almost surprising considering how big and busy the place is. Lots of nice folks here.

I seem to have helped a few folks with issues here and there, I've accumulated a few thanks. No big deal. I would trade them all for a single missing follow up. The important thing to me was if the issue was solved and how. Not one soul on this forum or any other owes me a darn thing. Polite behavior generally makes people think better of you though.

[twogypsies]

Originally Posted by GypsyR

I've been here a little while now and have seen very few posts that are off-putting in some way. Almost surprising considering how big and busy the place is. Lots of nice folks here.

A big part is due to our awesome Moderators nipping offensive posts in the bud!

[tap4154]

Originally Posted by Ray,IN

All threads which have new posts since your last visit will have a bright light bulb in the left column, no new posts the bulb is not bright.

I understand that, but that's not the same as if someone actually quoted you. In most forums the thread title will appear in bold if there are new posts since you visited, if it's not in bold, no one has responded.

No big deal, I was just offering what I've seen on other forums, and explaining why maybe sometimes people don't respond quickly here when they've been asked a question. The way it works here, I usually have to go search and find the old thread and see if anyone's asked anything.

[hohenwald48]

This thread seem a little odd to me. I come here to get answers to questions, suggestions about problems and in general increase my knowledge a bit. I also want to help others who may not have as much experience as me.

Simple as that. I don't need to have folks pat me on the back. I know if I helped someone I'm sure they're appreciative just as I am when someone makes a helpful suggestion in response to my questions. I expect most are here for the same reasons I am. If they don't thank me I sure won't spend much time or energy worrying about it and I sure hope they aren't offended if I don't personally thank them.

And the mods do a great job keeping things in line. I certainly thank them for that.

[Ray,IN]

Originally Posted by carybosse

You couldn't pay me to take on the job of moderating a website.

I don't expect a thanks for any replies or solutions I offer. The guys & gals here have already helped me tremendously since I joined. Just in the last 2-3 days I have read comments that gave me solutions to issues I didn't even know I had. I figure that it is my duty to try to help out where I can in return.

I am still trying to learn how to make my way around the site. A different website I frequent has a button to look at latest posts. However, on this site, once you you at a post, it no longer pops up on the NEW POSTS link. On the other website, the thread remains, it just is not highlighted. I lose track of posts and can't make my way back to them a lot of times. I'll figure it out eventually.

This website has more activity & participation that almost any website I have ever joined.

Go to your user CP at page top left. Click it then go to settings where you find many of them to choose from. Click on daily notifications and you'll get an email from every thread to which you either started or replied.

[tap4154]

Originally Posted by Ray,IN

Go to your user CP at page top left. Click it then go to settings where you find many of them to choose from. Click on daily notifications and you'll get an email from every thread to which you either started or replied.

The problem with that system is you can get 15 emails, but none of them have any posts that you have you've been quoted in, or someone has asked you a question or responded to your question. In fact most often they contain no new posts, but you get the email anyway.

However with a simple alert notification in the upper right corner of the web page, like I described, you don't have to read through 15 emails to see if someone responded. As soon as you log on, you see if there's an alert, and you can click on it and read the responses.

[PS56]

Originally Posted by hohenwald48

This thread seem a little odd to me. I come here to get answers to questions, suggestions about problems and in general increase my knowledge a bit. I also want to help others who may not have as much experience as me.

Simple as that. I don't need to have folks pat me on the back. I know if I helped someone I'm sure they're appreciative just as I am when someone makes a helpful suggestion in response to my questions. I expect most are here for the same reasons I am. If they don't thank me I sure won't spend much time or energy worrying about it and I sure hope they aren't offended if I don't personally thank them.

And the mods do a great job keeping things in line. I certainly thank them for that.

Courtesy is not a need nor is it a right. If you don't need, want or expect courtesy that is OK. You may be a discourteous person and that is OK in many quarters.

But, we all should be aware how this lack of courtesy reflects on ourselves and how it effects others.

COURTESY IS SOCIETY'S GREASE
"When we are civil and polite, people become more willing to accept each other rather than perceiving themselves as deserving of courtesy. In a civilized society, we need to be able to accommodate and compromise with our fellows to achieve a richer life for everyone. In all our dealings with others, civility, manners and consideration will foster a pleasant, harmonious society in which we all feel welcome."
https://thegentlemensbrotherhood.com...ocietys-grease

[SeeTheUSA]

Originally Posted by PS56

What poster was that?

Someone who recently joined, just this year in fact, and wasn’t being courteous. Most like this don’t seem to stick around long.

[carybosse]

Originally Posted by PS56

Courtesy is not a need nor is it a right. If you don't need, want or expect courtesy that is OK. You may be a discourteous person and that is OK in many quarters.

But, we all should be aware how this lack of courtesy reflects on ourselves and how it effects others.

COURTESY IS SOCIETY'S GREASE
"When we are civil and polite, people become more willing to accept each other rather than perceiving themselves as deserving of courtesy. In a civilized society, we need to be able to accommodate and compromise with our fellows to achieve a richer life for everyone. In all our dealings with others, civility, manners and consideration will foster a pleasant, harmonious society in which we all feel welcome."
https://thegentlemensbrotherhood.com...ocietys-grease

I think that this internet thingy has created a set of problems that no one is really addressing.

If you and I are at the campground and I ask you a question, and you answer me, then the answer has occurred contemporaneously with the question, so a "thank you" will roll off my lips immediately. On top of that, you will have heard the tone of my voice (of desperation, perhaps) and I will hear the concern for me as you give me your answer. Even without a formal "thank you" uttered, the exchange will show an appreciation for the aid rendered. Body language, smiles, eye rolls, all tools we have to enhance the communication.

Thanks to Al Gore's invention, we get to avoid any real interaction, there is no body language, there is no tone of voice, it is all in the monotone exchange of the typed words. Maybe we bold or italicize the responses, add some colorful text, or even a cutesy emoji. But none of that fills the need we humans have for true, personal interaction.

Of course, COVID isolation just helped destroy our fragile bonds a little bit more. The only thing the wide world of ZOOM did was allow us to see a distant smile sometimes without a mask.

(Many of my ZOOM encounters were with patients in hospitals that were forced to wear masks, they could see my smile and hopefully a little bit of human concern, all I saw were scared eyes peering out over a mask from typically a very poor camera. )