Community Forums

tiff098765 · 01-30-2016, 05:30 PM

Hi! I have three great kids, an autistic stepson, and an emotionally abusive husband. I thought I could be strong and suck it up for the sake of the kids, but now he's becoming cruel to them. Daddies shouldn't make their kids feel hated. So I need to get us away, and I think a motorhome would be the best choice. I think I'll wait until my stepson graduates in May so he can go of to a group home and not have to be subjected to his dad all by himself.

I'm trying to line up all the logistics so we don't starve. How do campgrounds generally handle utilities? Is power and water included in the campsite rental? How many miles per gallon should I expect to get in a 30 or 32 ft motorhome? How much is insurance for a $15000 1999 Bounder? Is workamping really a thing that works?

I really want to take them on a trip up the eastern seaboard for an epic history adventure (I homeschool). We don't really ever eat out, so I don't expect restaurant dining to be a normal thing, just admission to historical sites. How much should I expect monthly expenses to be?

I haven't bought anything yet, but I'm saving up and trying to make it happen soon. I'd appreciate all the help you can offer.

palehorse89 · 01-30-2016, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiff098765

Hi! I have three great kids, an autistic stepson, and an emotionally abusive husband. I thought I could be strong and suck it up for the sake of the kids, but now he's becoming cruel to them. Daddies shouldn't make their kids feel hated. So I need to get us away, and I think a motorhome would be the best choice. I think I'll wait until my stepson graduates in May so he can go of to a group home and not have to be subjected to his dad all by himself.

I'm trying to line up all the logistics so we don't starve. How do campgrounds generally handle utilities? Is power and water included in the campsite rental? How many miles per gallon should I expect to get in a 30 or 32 ft motorhome? How much is insurance for a $15000 1999 Bounder? Is workamping really a thing that works?

I really want to take them on a trip up the eastern seaboard for an epic history adventure (I homeschool). We don't really ever eat out, so I don't expect restaurant dining to be a normal thing, just admission to historical sites. How much should I expect monthly expenses to be?

I haven't bought anything yet, but I'm saving up and trying to make it happen soon. I'd appreciate all the help you can offer.

I am speechless!
Welcome here

Good luck in your quest...........you are for sure a good Mother! Good luck in your venture, and hope you can get going soon for your children's sake!!!!
Campgrounds most generally charge a daily fee, everything included. They also have weekly, monthly rates.
Some when going to monthly rates, make you pay for metered electric.
Add this web site to your favorites http://www.campgroundreviews.com/ , it is a wonderful place to look at reviews and for camping locations in your travels.

wingnut60 · 01-30-2016, 06:36 PM

Saddened to hear of your situation--below are some websites that may help with answers to your many needs:

Living the RV Dream

Fulltime RVing

Best of luck.

KarenS144 · 01-30-2016, 06:48 PM

Tough situation to be in.

Will you have another vehicle besides the motorhome? If you don't have a 2nd vehicle, it will be hard to get to the grocery, doctors, field trips, etc. It isn't impossible, just difficult unless you're on a bus line.

You might consider a towable camper of some sort but that means you'd need a truck to tow it with.

Good luck with your plans. I am sorry you've been put in such a position.

tiff098765 · 01-30-2016, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KarenS144

Tough situation to be in.

Will you have another vehicle besides the motorhome? If you don't have a 2nd vehicle, it will be hard to get to the grocery, doctors, field trips, etc. It isn't impossible, just difficult unless you're on a bus line.

You might consider a towable camper of some sort but that means you'd need a truck to tow it with.

Good luck with your plans. I am sorry you've been put in such a position.

I have a minivan, but I think I'll sell it for a smaller car to tow. Or would it be better to keep it and just pull a travel trailer? It can pull a small one.

halfwright · 01-30-2016, 09:18 PM

Full time with three kids, you do NOT want a small trailer. Think of how everyone one would be acting after the third day of rain.

I would go with what you have in mind and a small toad.

Have you looked for a women's shelter? Verbal abuse is harder to prove than physical abuse because it leaves no bruises, just scars deep inside. Do you have any relatives or friends that could help?

You might try to volunteer at a not-for-profit park. Most commercial RV parks are going to look at the bottom line and wonder if you can make them a profit or the problems of unsupervised kids while you work.

I wish there was some way I could be of more help. I came from an abusive home and my wife and I had over 50 foster kids go through our home. All I can recommend for a quick solution is try to find a social services agency that will help. Talk to your church leader. Talk to friends. Try to find someone who knows where to get help.

tedgard01 · 01-30-2016, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiff098765

... 1) How do campgrounds generally handle utilities? 2) Is power and water included in the campsite rental? 3) How many miles per gallon should I expect to get in a 30 or 32 ft motorhome? 4) How much is insurance for a $15000 1999 Bounder? 5) Is workamping really a thing that works?

I don't know how to advise you on your marriage, except to say that child abuse can not be allowed to continue. Get help sooner than later.

In regard to your questions;

1) The type of parks that would be affordable for you would include utilities. Generally only electricity and water, with access to a dump station (not at the camp site) for sewage and grey water to be dumped. They would usually have a 14 day stay limit. These parks would be National Parks, Army Corp of Engineer, BLM, etc. Cost would be from free to ~$35/night, depending on where they are and what time of year.

2) Again, this depends on the park, but the utilities are usually include in the price to rent the site.

3) For a Class A or Class C 1999 RV, 30' or 32' long, don't expect to get more than around 5 to 7 mpg. These are gas hogs, at best.

4) The cost of insurance is dependent on where your stated permanent address is. You will need to have a permanent address to get insurance. I don't know what it would cost you, but a guess would be somewhere between $500 to $900 for a six month coverage period. Sometimes you can pay this monthly if necessary.

5) It depends on what skill level and work experience you have as to if work-camping will work for you. An example, if you have a technical background in IT, it may allow you to work-camp easier than if your background is primarily domestic duties. Sometimes you can get a volunteer position at parks, but that would only allow a free site and maybe utilities. Sometimes you may find local part time work, or a temp position, but that can be very hard to get if you do not have a local address and reliable transportation available for commuting to the job. You may find a private park that would hire you as a host or other position, but your wages would most likely be minimal at best, and most likely not have any benefits (i.e.: health care, paid leave, etc.).

My personal opinion is that unless you have significant savings to draw against, you will not be able to sustain yourself for long term, unless you find some financial assistance in some way. One method may be to get a lawyer and file for divorce, and get some divorce benefits that could include some asset distribution, some child support, and possibly some health care cost coverage for the children. I'd recommend getting legal advice, and then get a restraining order against your spouse, and get the authorities involved before making your spouse aware of your plans...

That is my thoughts, for whatever they are worth.

I wish you luck and happiness in the future. I hope you take action now, versus waiting for a better time to do something.

charles tuit · 01-31-2016, 06:26 AM

Before you do anything I would advise you to see a lawyer.

Good luck

John H... · 01-31-2016, 06:36 AM

Sorry to hear about your situation. Think you have made a choice for what you think you need to do. Good luck and welcome to the forum.....

ahicks · 01-31-2016, 06:57 AM

Not trying to down play your situation, but there are darn few single moms I've met that can support that kind of lifestyle (living out of a MH) for long. Hate to see you drive yourself into a ton of debt/bankruptcy no matter the goal. Seems like that would be like jumping out of one frying pan into another one. Short term you may be fine. Longer term, maybe not so much.

If you like the idea of an extended trip, say for a month or two during the warmer season, maybe consider a pop up camper?

Kdsgone2dogs · 01-31-2016, 07:36 AM

Be smart and talk to a lawyer before you move forward.
I'm very sorry for your situation and I wouldn't hesitate to turn the bas**** over to
authorities. Believe me, you would do his son a favor...not to mention you and your children.
There are abuse hotlines all over this country...call them, they may give you advice on something you haven't even thought about.

spritz · 01-31-2016, 08:30 AM

Morning and welcome,
Have you thought about counseling ? Your correct about your kid's Myself and my siblings went thru pretty much the same thing except it was our mother that was the abusive one.
I wish the best for your kids.
I would suggest a Class A w/bunk beds. Not sure how many there are but they have too come first. They didn't ask to be born.
JMO,
Tim

halfwright · 01-31-2016, 08:45 AM

I forgot to mention it is a short, quick step from verbal abuse to physical abuse. I would bet money that in time your husband will hit you or one of the kids, if he hasn't already.

TQ60 · 01-31-2016, 09:06 AM

Lawyers visit first as community property laws may cause loss of savings or benefit of his.

Seek ways to legally place the money safe like in a child's name that can be used for living expenses maybe...lawyer can determine options there.

Equity in home and many other variables to consider but there are folks living off the grid and doing well but they usually have established funding.

There are many resources to seek advice in your local community and it would be wise to seek all that you can so you can learn more options.