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diandtom · 10-31-2006, 12:03 PM

We are planning a long trip in the future,at least 2 months or longer. I'm very close to both my daughters and grand kids. I get "withdrawal symptoms" if I'm gone just two weeks so don't know how I'll make it without seeing them for that long a period. Yes,there is cell phones and digital cameras,but it just ain't the same!

Please share what you do to help with the seperation. thanks!

Dianne

diandtom · 10-31-2006, 12:03 PM

We are planning a long trip in the future,at least 2 months or longer. I'm very close to both my daughters and grand kids. I get "withdrawal symptoms" if I'm gone just two weeks so don't know how I'll make it without seeing them for that long a period. Yes,there is cell phones and digital cameras,but it just ain't the same!

Please share what you do to help with the seperation. thanks!

Dianne

Paul Heuvelhorst · 10-31-2006, 08:18 PM

Hi Dianne,
There is no easy answer to your question. We have 4 sons, 3 of them married and a total of 6 grandkids. We were present for all the grandkids birth and helped out for the first week. They now range in age from 11 to 6.

The longest we've been out was 5 months, and both of us had a difficult time, especially after the 2nd month. We wrote e-mails, sent pictures back and forth, talked on the telephone especially on birthdays for the kids and their parents.

We'll never be gone that long again, but the trip made the inconvenience worth it. We were volunteer working as we made our way across country, so the trip had meaning for us and others.

Our kids live within 3 hours of our home, so we see each of them a half dozen time a year, whether they come up here or we go there. For birthdays, Christmas, T-day, July 4, Labor Day, Memorial Day and any other reason to get together.

We love 'em, but separation was part of the deal when they got married and started their own families. The love we share spreads across lots of miles, and the telephone is just a couple of feet away whenever we want to close the distance.

Enjoy the trip and keep a log w/pictures of all the places you visit so you can share the details when you return home.

mamaloya · 11-03-2006, 04:14 AM

My mom, sister and I are now far apart since dh is in the army now. Here is one thing that we started doing.

A friend referred me to a website called multiply.com. It is a great site. You get you own webpage for free. My site is Loya Family website It is easy to setup and personalize. You have a blog spot which others can reply to. A place to store many photo albums, which they can comment on. A place to put videos and music, and a place to put reviews of various books and products. You then get to control who sees your stuff. I have some albums that are only open to family members, others to contacts (people who have joined and you allow to connect with you) and a couple are public. When you log onto my site you will only see the public items, unless you ask my permission to become a contact. I then either allow or not allow. Multiply also keeps a log of everyone who has viewed my site.

My sister has 2 grandkids now and I missed both births and my heart aches to hold my great-nephews, but I can see them online. We can chat, set up family get togethers, etc. It is a great way to keep in touch. It is also great because we can each log in when we have time and don't have to worry about us all being free at the same time.

I know it is not the same, but it is better than nothing.

FloridaAnn · 11-10-2006, 03:32 PM

I will probably get some responses, but, I don't get it. You are suppose to teach kids, grandkids to find their way, be independent, enjoy their life. The best way after the kids are grown is to go enjoy your life, come back with stories, adventures, pictures, etc. Go away again with your husband and have more adventures...etc. With cell phones, e-mail, blogs, web sites, snail mail, etc. you are in touch, they get to enjoy your travels, you get to see what they are doing. Things in your life will change soon enough, so go out, enjoy yourself, make new memories, etc. Well, enough of that.

Brigadoon · 11-11-2006, 06:22 AM

I agree with FloridaAnn. We took our kids all over the country and showed them many places. Then when they moved on to form their own families, we would travel and return with more stories and pictures and the occasional present. This helped to teach them to be adventerous and unafraid to travel. Now, as they raise their own children, they are starting to teach their kids in a simular way. We always made it a positive thing to go on a trip. We never dwelled on the negitive such as seperation. We have a big get-together upon our return and give the grandchildren our small gifts that we acquired on our trip. Grandparents get to do that, you know!
Unlimited cell phone time helps also.

diandtom · 11-11-2006, 07:06 AM

Well if our grand kids were older it wouldn't be so hard to leave them for a long period of time,but most are at that cute,sit in your lap,give you lots of hugs and kisses stage! Someone suggested to wait until the grands got to the age they didn't want anything to do with you to go,but don't know if Tom's arthritis will be up to him driving that great a distance in a few years,and no one knows what tomorrow brings.Yes we traveled a lot when our kids were home and in turn they travel with their kids,so no not "afraid" of travel nor do they have seperation anxieties! I will miss oldest grandsons band concert,and youngest grand daughters dance recital,a once a year thing! We are definitly going just wanting to know what others did,other than phone calls and emails when apart!

Dianne

JudyandJim · 11-11-2006, 07:37 PM

I am away from my daughter and her four kids (8mo to 9yrs) every summer for 4 or 5 months. Since we live just a couple of miles from them, and I see them several times a week, it is tough to be gone so long. Keeping in touch by phone and email is good, but I really miss the HUGS. The first year I spent the summer away, I flew home every three weeks because I just missed them too much.

For the last two summers, I either drove my car or flew home about every six weeks.

For the last two summers we have also done something that keeps us feeling part of each other's daily lives. They gave me a laminated photo of them, hanging on a shoestring type necklace. We hang it from the windshield mirror in the motorhome or car... and sometimes I wear it. We take photos of us with our "Flat Travelers" and email them along with a daily journal of where we went and what we saw. Sometimes we will take a photo of the "Flat Traveler" with someone else.. like the mascot dog on our Rogue River Jet Boat trip. The kids love it. I email photos every day and they do the same for me. Sometimes we email movies that we take with our digital camera and they send movies back, singing me a song or showing me something they are doing. When we went to Europe last Spring, we took our Flat Travelers with us and now have a journal that they printed from my daily emails. It is a great way to share what you are doing and stay active in their life even though you aren't close by.

Now that I'm home, I still keep my Flat "Kids" hanging from my rearview mirror. They check to see that it is there everytime I'm at their house.

Daughters are a joy, but grandkids are our most precious gift.

Judy

diandtom · 11-12-2006, 05:47 AM

Judy,its nice to know others feel the way I do.Funny about your flat kids! Last year for Christmas one of my daughters gave me a "talking picture frame" the kids recorded a message and I can listen to it whenever I want. I may get them to record something else over it,but the "I love you" on there is very special,I can hear that whenever I feel the need.

Dianne

JudyandJim · 11-16-2006, 06:21 AM

Dianne,

I keep a movie on my laptop's desktop that my daughter took with her digital camera and emailed to me. It is the kids singing a song to me, ending with "we love you Grammy." I click on it whenever I feel like I need a "hug". It will probably be on my desktop forever.

jmo · 11-16-2006, 11:08 AM

I will have to agree with Terry and Ann on this one. 3 boys/men grown and out, 1 teen still at home. Can't wait to separate

jmo

Lady Teach · 12-22-2006, 08:48 AM

We have 4 grandsons, 8 to 16 and during the summer months we always take one or maybe two of them with us on a long trip. Our oldest, who is a junior in high school is looking forward to his senior trip with us. He wants it to be a surprise

sueglassart · 02-05-2007, 04:46 PM

My grandchildren live in NC and I live in MN. I see the grandchildren about twice a year. In the meantime my daughter sends videos of the kids. I talk to them on the phone and we send pictures of our other travels. I wish they lived closer but their dad is in the USAF. I'm just thankful for modern technology that makes keeping in touch so much easier. We can even e-mail or talk on our computer's to stay in touch. Much more real time than when we use to send cassettes home to my parents.

Lorna · 02-05-2007, 04:59 PM

Jump up and down, do the "happy dance", smile alot!!!

We taught our kids to be independant and self-sufficent (that's our job as parents). We are as far away as the e-mails and cell phone calls we get (all the time). We told our kids for years that when they turned 18 we were running away from home. Well, we gave them 2 extra years. 3 days after we left NC, Anna headed out for New Mexico. Stacey still had a job in NC so she is still there (complaining about the cold, snow and ice). We talk to our kids a couple times a week. Either for real info or they just complain, then feel better. Sometime I will call and tell them that we're eating in a Cracker Barrel (none where either of them are and they both love CB) or that we're eating crab legs (something they both love) at a Chinese buffet.

I do love to pick on them.