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Grimesy · 02-03-2013, 04:07 PM

Truly amazing how many vultures are out there flying around waiting for it to hit the fan.

Reminds me of the story where the little kid goes to his dying grandfather in the hospital and asks him to make a sound like a frog, because Grandma says when you croak we are going to Disney Land.

Wills and trusts are your best defense, but make sure they are unrevocable so the greedy can't get them changed. Personal experience.

Don G

papaw.1 · 02-03-2013, 04:13 PM

xx1 on all this.I went thru this stuff last April when my sister passed away and now We are having to decide weather my Dad who is 90 and fell 2 weeks ago will have to stay in a nursing home.He was living with my step mother but, when he fell her sisters who lives 2 hrs.away came and took her home with them and now they have talked her in to not coming back so my Dad is really upset about that even though he can't take care of her which he did for 3 years.I have 2 Half sisters and a brother who has decided to take over even though I am the executor over the estate and have the POA for all of his decisions.Good Luck John.My Prayers are with you.

Mr_D · 02-03-2013, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyH

Most states recognize the current spouse as sole heir, unless a will says otherwise. This is unfortunate for most children of a diseased parent. I mean they could just be married for a short time, and the kids lose all those keepsakes of their lives to a possibly uncaring step parent or their kids. And they might not even care, but since it is their right, they take it. Yeah it is unpleasant to think of the eventual future but you gotta get stuff written in wills.

Exactly what happened in MN
My DW's father remarried, new wife had him sign all the accounts over to her, even one that was set aside form my wife. House he was living in went to her also when he died. All she got was a black garbage bag about half full of his clothes and "I glad to get rid of this stuff" when the woman handed the bag to us!!

Mr Nifty · 02-03-2013, 06:58 PM

Giving someone POA in case of an emergency is a great idea. Just be sure that the person you pick will do what is best for you. Not what will make their wallet fatter.
We had to go to court to take away POA from my Aunt. Now my uncle is the guardian & conservator.

Tony Lee · 02-03-2013, 09:15 PM

Time scales mentioned in the OP were "few months" and "few weeks" and if that means what it says, wouldn't you expect to be given short shrift after all that time.

slickest1 · 02-03-2013, 10:07 PM

I had power of attorney for my Mom after my dad passed. I was executor for them both. When dad passed there were those who thought they would get something. Wrong , everything reverted to my Mom as per the will. When Mom passed the will stated that everything be divided equally between us four kids. Long before Mom passed I got some real good advice from my cousin. His mother (Moms older very wise sister) went through all her possessions and made lists and to whom they should be given. She also marked them. My cousin said that when it came time to disperse all her things there were people coming out of the woodwork to claim things that they said she had promised them. He said it made it very easy by looking at the list and that would be the end of it. My mom did the same thing upon his advice and it made my job as executor way easier. After the list was made I had my two brothers and sister read it and sign it. That way if they disagreed with it they could ask Mom while she was still alive. They were good about it and went with her wishes. It did head a greedy inlaw off at the pass. This may not work for all but it did for my family.

Francesca · 02-03-2013, 10:17 PM

I intend to die broke, thus saving my relatives from this kind of mess.

SarahW · 02-04-2013, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnBoyToo

My mother passed away after a long illness a few months back,
you can never get prepared for it, but she had a great life before she took ill.

My sincerest condolences to you on the loss of your mother.

flaggship1 · 02-04-2013, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahW

My sincerest condolences to you on the loss of your mother.

X 2 my friend. Never a good time to lose the ones that brought you in, you brought in, or have come to love. Our thoughts are with you.
Steve and Annie.

RichR · 02-04-2013, 10:11 AM

The thing to have is a TRUST not a will.

Trekkers · 02-04-2013, 12:11 PM

We are in the process of trying to give away everything we own to the children, grandchildren, etc. Slow process, hopefully we will finish and get to full time before we "croak."
One thing no one can take away is the memory of good times and special events and sometimes even the challenging times that were shared with each other. It is nice to have a few material things as mementos, but take comfort in knowing you still have the most precious things.

pagosajoe · 02-04-2013, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RichR

The thing to have is a TRUST not a will.

x2!!

Stillwater · 02-04-2013, 01:10 PM

We where very fortunate. My folks who have now both passed away had the foresite to mark their possessions that had any meaning with the name of the member of the family who was to inherit that item. They reviewed it with the siblings so that each of us understood the intentions. There has never been any friction in our family but it's on these occasions that friction can start. At the time my folks did this I kinda felt it was a little creepy but after the fact it seems like a very good choice. The incidental stuff was divided up according to who had given them as gifts over the years and all else went to charities. We had given Mom one of those Autoban bird clocks that every hour is a different bird call. Mom just loved it but it became a family joke about be careful about what kind of gift you give because you might get it back. Honestly for my wife and I? Guess who we think of when the clock signs out, especially when it's Mom or Dad's favorite bird. A final thought is I left the marks on the items that I received and whenever I turn them over and see the markings I think of them. Don't leave the preparations until it's too late. Because of these preparations their wills where very straight forward. I know it doesn't do anything for the OP but may be useful to others.

phinneyj · 02-04-2013, 03:34 PM

When my Mother and then several years later my Grandmother passed away my Aunt managed to "raid" and lay claim to there property. I had not really paid attention when my Mom passed as I was devastated and did not pay attention. Besides, my Step father managed to maintain some control. When my Grandmother passed away my aunt showed up at her house where a lot of us was staying and she cleaned out the really important family heirlooms and such in the middle of the night and stole away before anyone woke up. My cousin was the Executor of my grandmothers will and most of the t's where crossed and I's dotted. Sad how people behave selfishly when a loved one passes.