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08-11-2008, 10:13 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Texas Boomers Club
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mo/Texas
Posts: 3,555
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Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
<><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt
</> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain
</>
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
And The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.
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08-11-2008, 10:13 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Texas Boomers Club
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mo/Texas
Posts: 3,555
|
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
<><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt
</> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain
</>
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
And The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.
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08-11-2008, 11:22 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Winnebago Owners Club
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,481
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Wow - Will Rogers must have received a premonition about today's Congress!!!
__________________
Warren and Debbie, Deep in The Heart of Texas
2018 Winnebago View 24D
2014 Tiffin Breeze 32BR, 2012 Winnebago Navion 24G, 2006 Winnebago View 23H
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08-11-2008, 11:42 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Gretna, La
Posts: 211
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And Will Rogers always said that all he knew he got from the newspaper. Today he would be one dumb left leaning opinionated SOB.
Then there's W.C. Fields, Ah My Little Chickdee.
"There's lots more old drunks than old doctors".
And Dave's favorite, don't really know who penned it but:
The early bird gets the worm but the second rat gets the cheese.
Dave
__________________
GEAUX TIGERS
Dave, Miss Sue and Lucy the Scotty
00 Windsor, 40', Grand Cherokee Limited
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08-11-2008, 01:36 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 405
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"dumb left leaning opinionated SOB"
Men in authority will always think that criticism of their policies is dangerous. They will always equate their policies with patriotism, and find criticism subversive. Henry Steele Commager
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08-11-2008, 01:47 PM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Cedaredge. CO
Posts: 37
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"Sometimes my boy, you've got to take the bull by the tail and face the situation" -- W, C. Fields
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08-11-2008, 05:52 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 405
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"Since the general civilization of mankind, I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people, by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power, than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
"To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man." - Alan Paton
"People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority." - Lord Chesterfield
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