Community Forums

Salley9024 · 10-02-2011, 07:09 PM

It took two years for my husband to come around to the idea of life on the road. Now the house is cleared of all the clutter and up for sale, when the house sells we are ready to go. Just keep talking to your wife about it but don't be overwhelming. Camp more often if you can and stay longer at times if possible. We took a 4 1/2 month trip last year and that's when my husband realized there was more to life than mowing the yard and maintaining a home. We will continue to see the kids, just not as often, but now we have Skype! Never give up on your dreams!

Gary - K7GLD · 10-03-2011, 06:43 PM

I have a hard time understanding some folks - usually the females - absolute near-hysterical NEED to cling frantically to kids and grandkids. After all, they DO usually have lives of their own - and USUALLY all that desperate hanging-on is very one-sided!.

Unfortunately, by the time realization hits that those kids don't WANT or NEED you as much as you think, and as much as YOU seem to need THEM - the best part of life and it's alternate opportunities is long gone, that wheelchair or rocker is looming larger and larger - and remaining life is spent musing "what MIGHT have been"...

Thankfully, we raised our kids to stand on their own 2 feet, and think and act independently - sure, we like them, and they like us too - but we all DO have lives of our own, and that do NOT rely on the close association of each other to enjoy life. For sure, we didn't work hard and save all our lives just to become babysitters, or to live lives submerged in what is going on with grandkids - they sure don't usually spend a lot of time focused upon what WE are doing or where we are going!

And as far as we're concerned, that's the way it SHOULD be!

And yeah, life's short, and sometimes if you and your partner don't seem to be dancing to the same music, it might be time for a new drummer...

smack2020 · 10-03-2011, 08:16 PM

Well put Gary, I agree.

Paw John · 11-08-2011, 10:17 AM

I want to thank everybody for all your words of wisdom. I'm still talking to the wife about our future and if she see's us fulltiming in our RV. She is warming up to the idea. Just about every day she comes in from work with what I call Home Work from the office. She works for a local bank in our area and complains about no help. I keep telling her if she keeps bringing this stuff home and doing it off the clock( about 3 - hours a night ). Why do they need to hire a new employee. I keep telling her that we need to get away for about two weeks and see what it's like. All I hear is her work will back up and no one will keep up with it. Also that she can't take off for that long, or I can't take off at the begaining or the end of the month. At this present time the only thing we owe is the RV and we should be finish paying for it in 2013. Then I will let my wife quit her job and then begain to pursue fulltiming. ( then again ) This may never happen because now she wants a new vehicle. I may have to try this life along with my yellow labador ALI ( 4 - year old ) !!!!!!!!!!! Happy Trails

melvonnar · 11-09-2011, 06:41 AM

Advice for all those that think the job won't get done if they don't do it.
This is directed at you:
#1 Get a bucket;
#2 fill it with water
#3 insert your hand
#4 remove hand
#5 look for hole that you left
Result-----------the size of the hole is how important you are to this job.

Cat320 · 11-09-2011, 08:52 AM

Try spliting the difference...half what she likes and half what you like. That would equate to taking four/six one month trips a year. In a month, out a month.

motojavaphil · 11-10-2011, 02:10 PM

I firmly believe there is green grass on both sides of the fence. Fulltiming is a major lifestyle change. I have seen people slip into it very successfully and others totally unhappy. I also know you both need to be on the same page as living in an RV fulltime you get to know each other more than you ever thought possible. If one of you are not happy it can be downright painful. Keeping the house is not a bad idea. Snowbirding, although in Louisiana I doubt that is an issue, is a great idea. Still a visit to Maine in the summer for a few months or going West or to Florida after the Holidays is not a bad idea and can be enjoyable. Recognizing and honoring each others fears and needs makes for a stronger marriage and a better RV experience!

Davdeb1 · 11-23-2011, 10:16 PM

10 years from now, the grandkids will be annoying teenagers who will not want to have anything to do with you or wife. Until then, a compromise like maybe wintering where it is warm or touring where it is warm is a good start. Until then start taking short trips, and see if the bug bites her. if she just doesn't love it like you, compromIse is in order.

Hopefully, she is your partner in life and you can both compromise.

Mr_D · 11-23-2011, 10:53 PM

Guess our "problem" is a little different: we both want to fulltime, have the MH we want (although my DW did say if we were younger she'd go for a new 43' DSDP), I "retired" in '98 and have been working doing consulting and security since. Have a reasonable retirement from the State, wife has a retirement from a previous company. Our income will be quite sufficient to go full time even without touching the IRA's BUT, my step daughter died and we took in her two grandkids, now 19 (and moved out recently), the other is almost 12 and still in school. My fear is that if we wait till he's out of school we won't be healthy enough to travel anymore. She's ready to quit anytime but won't qualify for SS and Medicare till Dec 2012.

hondo122 · 11-24-2011, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr_D

Guess our "problem" is a little different: we both want to fulltime, have the MH we want (although my DW did say if we were younger she'd go for a new 43' DSDP), I "retired" in '98 and have been working doing consulting and security since. Have a reasonable retirement from the State, wife has a retirement from a previous company. Our income will be quite sufficient to go full time even without touching the IRA's BUT, my step daughter died and we took in her two grandkids, now 19 (and moved out recently), the other is almost 12 and still in school. My fear is that if we wait till he's out of school we won't be healthy enough to travel anymore. She's ready to quit anytime but won't qualify for SS and Medicare till Dec 2012.

Have you considered home schooling via the internet schools available in most states. The things she will experience traveling may make it a preferable alternative. Just a thought.

Davdeb1 · 11-24-2011, 02:23 PM

Sure, there is the home school avenue, but at 12 years old she is approaching a very important social development age. Hard to imagine how many kids her age she will meet in campgrounds. Unfortunately, your next six or seven years will be limited to summer excursions.

hondo122 · 11-26-2011, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by motojavaphil

I firmly believe there is green grass on both sides of the fence. Fulltiming is a major lifestyle change. I have seen people slip into it very successfully and others totally unhappy. I also know you both need to be on the same page as living in an RV fulltime you get to know each other more than you ever thought possible. If one of you are not happy it can be downright painful. Keeping the house is not a bad idea. Snowbirding, although in Louisiana I doubt that is an issue, is a great idea. Still a visit to Maine in the summer for a few months or going West or to Florida after the Holidays is not a bad idea and can be enjoyable. Recognizing and honoring each others fears and needs makes for a stronger marriage and a better RV experience!

X2 it's been working that way for 4 years for me and the DW, gives you something to look forward too.

Red man · 12-03-2011, 11:05 AM

Thank you for the thread and the posts. I find myself in a similar situation with my girlfriend and family.

I have always dreamed of traveling our Great Country and seeing want it has to offer.
I`ve been slowly working myself to death, to live a life I dont want (stick house ,bills,raising my niece, helping others and the rat race).It`s been great no complaints, most people love it ,it`s just that I want something different.
I was going on my Great Adventure in 2001 in a van with a tent and my dog. I could not sell the house for what it`s worth so decided to be patience and wait till the housing market got better.In 2001 the house was worth $90,000 and this year I was offered $75,000

.

On that, I have decided that there is no going back.I bought the truck,irv2 and Escapees are helping my hammer out details with working ,trailer type and mail on the road.I`m not going back to renting an apartment that would cost the same as the house.I`m not going to rent the house out (seems more trouble then it would be worth) and I`m not going to put off my dreams anymore ,it`s my life and I just don`t know what tomorrow may bring.

My girlfriend who knew my intents all along is having second thoughts about leaving her 3 older boys and family behind.I have told her about when we go FT ing that we will have the freedom to visit during the holidays.She said she will go but like so many posts before, if she`s not happy it will never work.I tried to bring her in slow but it doesn`t seem work.She thinks that I`m going threw a mid-live crisis .

A friend of mine was in the same boat. Planned to leave for years but his wive changed her mine . They live life for each day, make best of things and have no regrets.
It`s sounds like you have a hard choice to make. Go and hope things work out(you may not like it either) , keep the house and RV when possible( needs lot money) or stay and make the most of it. From your posts, it doesn`t seem like splitting up is for you.That`s none of anyone`s business ,but yours.The most important thing is not to live in regret.

What I liked must about the posts was that it has helped me realize that it`s my life and I am responible for my actions.THANK YOU.It was just what I needed to hear .I have noticed when I am making moves to enter the world of FT ing , that ever thing sems to have a positive flow. When I found myself in times of dout about leaving :wondering if I am doing the right thing, everything goes bad fast.
Thanks again for your thread , I needed to get that off my chest
Hope it has helped you as well.

catonine · 12-03-2011, 03:38 PM

melvonnar, I have never heard it put quite the way you did, but I like it. That was me. Thought the job would just stop if I was not there. Was I ever wrong!. It still runs and I have been gone several years. I am ready to downsize and full time. Housing market so bad that I refuse to sell for a price way below what home is worth. Maybe things will improve. I was blessed to have gotten rid of most real property I owned before the economy went bad. My wife is now considering selling her business and us trying to fulltime. We will keep our residence and use it as a base for the time being. I hope she is sincere about fulltiming but only time will tell. But win lose or draw, we are going to try it. Just not going to burn all my bridges just yet.