I am not a ''deer hunter'' as such but I have learned a couple of things about ''hunting deer''.
First. I see guys in ''camo'' with ''stinkie stuff'' on their shoe, face paint like Geronimo, a gun that will knock out a tank at 1000 meters with a scope on it half as long as the gun where you can see the deers flees, a pickup that is painted in ''camo'' colors and a wallet the same way.(if they drop the walet in the woods, how the heck do they find it?) and a DEER STAND that looks like a 3 bedroom condo at the beach.
Two...... Openin' day is a religious holiday and after much elaborate preparation and spending probably a grand at the sporting goods store for bait, smellie stuff for their foot, ammo, Beer, Beef Jerkie, Boiled Eggs, Sardenes, More Beer, ''Slim Jims'' and a host of other items that you need that ''camo'' pick up truck to haul they leave at 0300 am in the morning.
Four....... They get to the ''deer stand about 0400 am and hoist all this stuff up into the deer stand and move the pick up out on the perimeter and throw a ''camo'' cover over it so the deer wont see it.
They climb up in the ''stand and start drinkin beer and eatin' boiled eggs''.. great combo.......
Three......... About day light they have had one too many Beers and three to many boiled eggs and a can of sardines and a Slim Jim or three and they are blowin farts you can hear from a mile away and smell two miles away and they doze off in their chair.
Four....... At a quarter after nine they rouse up with a start,,,, dropping the high powered rifle and blowing a hole in the side of the ''condo stand'' hitting the pick up under the camo cover and bursting one of the oversize tires.
Here is what they tell you...........''There I was,,,,,,, Alone in the deer stand,,,,,,,,, Lookin around,,,,,,,,.... Here come this big buck,,,,,, Had a rack big as a tree,,,,,,,,,, He was sniffin around,,,,,,, I went to shoot and he dodged the bullet and poked one of his giant antlers thru my tar''......(burp)
I deer hunt the easy way.
One......... Get a carpenters hammer and my pick up...
Two.........Get Earl to drive and we go out in the evening just before sunset.
Three ..... I lean out the window, hit the deer in the head with the carpenters hammer .....
Four......... Me and Earl load up the deer and go home....
But the easiest way is simply drive one of my ''Classic Cars'' on a country road and they will jump out in front of it.......... (been there , done that)
I just love to Deer Hunt.......
Thank a Veteran for your freedom..... It is their gift to you.... NO CHARGE.....
I'm done........