I'm Dieing

[Seajay]

I am of the generation of ''before the war''. I was one of the millions born before the second world war started. 1940 to be exact. In my neighborhood there were probably 15 boys within a couple of years of my age. Back then it was not unusual for a family to have three or four kids and it was more the ''norm'' than the exception back then. In fact, I was one of the ''only child'' children that I can remember. Everyone else had brothers and sisters and I had a ton of cousins. I guess it was because winters were cold and there was no central heating or television back then and folks needed something to ''do'' on those long winter nights.
As I sit and think about it, there many kids in my neighborhood within a short walking distance of our house. I will not bore you with names you dont care about now except my neighbor Billie, the guy that hit me in the head with a Pepsi bottle after I beat him up over a marble game.
I actually knew all the kids in my neighborhood. I knew their family and all their sisters which I did not ''count'' because back then, girls did not count. As I sit back and remember these guys, a lot of them are dead now. Some of them did not make it past their teen years due to car accidents and drinking beer and driving. Some of them died in Nam. A couple were shot by their wives and some were shot by jealous husbands. Some died of natural causes like heart attack, auto accidents, cancer and the like and I know two that died in prison. Of that complete group probably half are dead now.


I got to thinking about this and figured that I am living on borrowed time also. Think about it. One generation ago a heart attack usually killed the person. Simple things like pneumonia, whooping cough and a litany of diseases we dont even think about now would kill off people like flies.
I watched Willa lay out my meds last night. I have had two heart attacks and two strokes. I got a 3 centimeter ''Triple A'' in my tummy and two stints in the vanes going down my legs. I have had two heart caths done and both my carotic arteries cleaned out. I have atrial fibulation in my heart and I take enough pills every day to keep probably three normal people alive.
If you think about it, we die in little pieces now instead of doing the right thing and just dieing and saving the government a bunch of Medicare money.......
Lets see...... you lose your hair and teeth, your vision and hearing. Your heart gets weak and is held together with wires and man made parts. Your joints start giving out and they must replace your knees, elbows, and your parts all over to keep you moving so you can go get your pills to keep you moving so you can get your pills that keep you moving(?) (did that make scenes?)... About every six months I have Cortisone injections in both knees to keep me walking.
Now they can keep you ''alive'' longer than you want to be ''alive''. Case in point was my mother. She died of cancer and many was the time I would sit with her and she would whisper to me that she wished she could just go on and die and go to be with Daddy.
I have got what I call my ''funeral suit''. It is the suit I wear to funerals and I keep up with the last person that died by the ''funeral bulletin'' in the inside coat pocket.
Most of the funerals I have been to were out of respect and real love for the deceased person. I will admit that a couple of times I went to a funeral was to be sure the sorry Sweet Old Boy was really dead. (I guess that is awful but it is true)


When you are born you start with nothing and when you die you leave with nothing. In between those two events most of us try to do something worthwhile with our lives. We work, save, make love, make hate, make babies, make friends and make enemies. We laugh and cry and promise a litany of things that we know we will never do or fulfill. And we ''see our life '' through rose colored glasses as it were. We see life pretty much as we want to see it. To some, the glass is ''almost half full'' and to others the glass is ''almost half empty.'' Some go through life with a chip on their shoulder and grumble and blame their lousy meaningless friendless life on everyone else and all the bad breaks they have been given and the ''half empty glass'' that life has given them. They concentrate on making enemies as opposed to friends and they are really sad people. Others concentrate on the ''good things in life'' regardless of how small they may seem to others. Some are happy with the almost ''half full glass'' and the good things they may have. These people live life on the positive side and can laugh and dance in the rain while the others sit in the shade and complain and grumble.


Today I died a little more. Like most of you I get up and reach for the glasses, hearing aids, Poly Grip, Medimusel, Dristan spray, Visene eye drops, the Ben Gay, my knee brace, my Pepto tablets, two aspirins and a pain pill for my joints to keep working and my heart meds, blood thinner pill, my vitamin ''D'' tablet and several other pills that seem to have no meaning except they cost money. This will keep me ''ticking'' during the day. I check my ''nitro pills'' to see that they are not falling apart and my cell phone to be sure the battery is charged and there is enough toilet paper left on the roll to finish that job properly.


This old sack of bones is a tiny bit older than it was yesterday and things are a little bit heavier and a little bit higher than they use to be and it seems like about everywhere I have to walk now, the path is up hill and into the wind. Today I take my ''pills'' and trudge up hill toward the grave that awaits just over the hill or around the next curve but I will be happy with the journey. I shall look back down that ''path'' and remember the ten times ten thousand good memories of good times and good friends I have known and of places I have seen and women that I have loved and that have loved me and the golden opportunity that God has given me to perhaps make a small difference in this world. Today I shall smile and look on the positive side and be happy with the ''glass almost half full'' and thank God for the wonderful life he has given me these 71 years and counting and if you see me complaining or hear me moaning and groaning and grumbling about something trivial and of little or no consequence in the greater plan of life,,,,,,,,,, PLEASE KICK MY BUTT REAL HARD.........


I just looked around, and I noticed that I am not walking this path alone. A lot of us are walking this path and this ''path'' is getting more crowded every day. .....(scary ain't it?)

God bless our wounded vets......... somehow, I feel they gave the most.


More later when I think of something to say.....me......

[jwomack]

Me too. Well said and welcome back!

[4Knights]

Welcome back! Say hey to the better half Willa- we know she and not the meds keep you walking the good path.
Life is truly a journey on a path to ? No matter the end, it's the folks we meet on the path and how we treat them that makes the journey memorable.

Seajay, I'm sure glad that you were not born earlier, otherwise we would not have been able to meet on this path!
Ron

[Billieg]

Looks like you are facing your own mortality. We all do that at different times of our lives. I did it in Nam and again when I hit 60.

Well, my wife got a call today on our 3 month trip, her 41 year old son died of heat stroke. You are lucky you got 71 years. I'm 60 and don't expect to go more than 10 more years that's why we hit the road. I know getting older is tough but it could be worse.

We visited a grave yard last week in TN. that had many, many children buried in it. Back then they didn't have the drugs or knowledge to help you. At least you have the meds and money to keep kickin. Good luck to you and try to enjoy what time you have left with the people that care.

[historyljc]

Seajay, just do like I'm planning to do as soon as I recover from my most recent surgery. I going to get "Some Assembly Required" tattooed across my forehead. Anyone need a used Gall Bladder, as is, no warranty. The old body creeks and groans and won't carry the loads it once would, but, like you, I have been and still am blessed. Keep taking you're pills, we'd like to keep around for awhile.

[4Knights]

Originally Posted by Billieg

Looks like you are facing your own mortality. We all do that at different times of our lives. I did it in Nam and again when I hit 60.

Well, my wife got a call today on our 3 month trip, her 41 year old son died of heat stroke. You are lucky you got 71 years. I'm 60 and don't expect to go more than 10 more years that's why we hit the road. I know getting older is tough but it could be worse.

We visited a grave yard last week in TN. that had many, many children buried in it. Back then they didn't have the drugs or knowledge to help you. At least you have the meds and money to keep kickin. Good luck to you and try to enjoy what time you have left with the people that care.

Tell your wife we're sorry for her loss.

Unfortunately most people don't understand that unlike cold, heat has a cumualitve effect, so multiple days in the heat simply add up and cause heat stroke in a very short period of time.

[Nuge]

Thank you for the perspective!! Last December I turned 50. My Facebook post was "Over the hill and one foot in the Grave, *Shaft ME, I'm 50 today!" I've been off of work since October, had a job where they tried to kill me by working me 19 hours straight my second day and wanted me back 9 1/2 hour later after putting in 3 1/2 days worth of work my first two days and now I've embarked on a career change from an Industrial Multi-Craft Maintenance Electrician to.................................... (wait for it)...................................
an RV technician for less than HALF of what I'm accustomed to making. Things have been tough lately and although I live my life as an optimist, my situation has been beating me down. I feel somewhat better now thinking I may yet turn it all around and knowing I don't have all the pain you have or all those "poisons" to take daily. Thank you. I can only hope to have the privilege of meeting and getting to know you someday before you move on the those greener pastures. God Bless!!

[Hammer Down]

Hey Sea Jay good to see you back. I have read more enjoyable post from you but I will have to say I'm beginning to experience the experiences you are talking about. We are only promised 3 score and 10 so at least you are 1 up on the promise. Dig deep into those precious memories of the Navy and the good times of your life. In the end if you know your Savior a new body is waiting on you. God Bless and keep posting for this board has a great Love for you. I think I still owe you 10 cents.

[easdsa]

"The best way to stay young is to associate with young people. The fastest way to grow old is to try to keep up with them." That was said by a former pastor of ours when he was in his mid-forty's.

I teach middle school kids, and I can certainly believe it!

[W4RLR]

Glad to see you back, Seajay.

I share my approach to life with the late Stanley Kubrick, who said:

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body , but rather to skid in broadside , thoroughly used up , totally worn out & loudly proclaiming--WOW--WHAT A RIDE !"



I take pills, have had heart surgery, but I am in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in, that being a worn down Air Force NCO.


All the best to you and the missus.

[Seajay]

(QUOTE)
This old sack of bones is a tiny bit older than it was yesterday and things are a little bit heavier and a little bit higher than they use to be and it seems like about everywhere I have to walk now, the path is up hill and into the wind. Today I take my ''pills'' and trudge up hill toward the grave that awaits just over the hill or around the next curve but I will be happy with the journey. I shall look back down that ''path'' and remember the ten times ten thousand good memories of good times and good friends I have known and of places I have seen and women that I have loved and that have loved me and the golden opportunity that God has given me to perhaps make a small difference in this world. Today I shall smile and look on the positive side and be happy with the ''glass almost half full'' and thank God for the wonderful life he has given me these 71 years and counting. (END QUOTE)
================================================== ==
I truly did not mean to make anyone sad with this post. The ''path'' I refer to is our LIFE as we have lived it and the ''ten times ten thousand good memories'' are some of the days of that life that we have lived. All the ''Good friends we have known and the places we have been and the women we have loved'' are the good memories along that path of life we have trod. And all the good things that God has given me in this life. He made life interesting for me and you and he did not make it too easy or too tough because we are all here reading this message. He seemingly always gave me a ''glass almost half full'' and that is not a bad life. Look around and you will find people that envy you. All of us are walking toward the grave from the day we are born. This is the plan of life. Some are never happy regardless of the amount in the ''glass'' and they live their entire life in envy and hate and jealousy of those that seem to have ''more'' than they and to me these are the truly sad people for they have never been happy with their life. We are walking toward the grave.. We just dont know how long the ''walk'' of life is but enjoy the walk while it lasts..... (think about that)

If you think you got a bad deal from the Big Man....... Go see a Wounded Warier and check out their attitude..... These guys make me feel like six feet of NOTHING..........

God bless our wounded warier's....

Nuff said for now .....

more when I think of something worthwhile to write .....me.....

[bigskymt]

You finally return but with a thread title that scares people.
My wife was the first one to notice your post. Before even reading on she had to call me as I was driving and yell "Hoy, that Sailor is back but there's something wrong................his post said he's dieing"
She then proceeded to read your entire post as I used every means available to hide my non-hands-free phone from some Cop searching for an easy $80 ticket. (We are still stuck in S.CA.)
While we are both happy all is well and you have returned I would ask you to please use a less dramatic title.
Some examples: " I'm BACK, I planned to re-up but didn't want to lose my VA Benefits"
Or....."I got the Visene instructions mixed up with the other "V" drug, typing has become a real problem..........that 2 hour thing they warn you about is an underestimate"
Or..............:"Hi all, did ya miss me??"...................Yep we did!!

[mick]

Ahhh Seajay, sometimes I have the same feelings, and truth be known, it is me walking beside you on that path that you describe. We obviously could use the same doctors.

But, life is a ball, everyday is a friday and most are saturday nights. Religious ideas always hit those that are prepared for the final, as you must be.

It was a good post, thought provoking for us older folks.

And like the others, it's good to have you back, as we needed a good whipping boy around here.

[JimM68]

Welcome back Seajay!