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MartySQ · 12-25-2014, 03:59 PM

Did anyone inform him...'when in Rome..."

TwelveVolt · 12-25-2014, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MartySQ

Did anyone inform him...'when in Rome..."

Does telling an adult to mind his manners constitute good manners? Would you tell someone to remove his hat?

RickO · 12-25-2014, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwelveVolt

Aren't manners synonymous with the norm? We were taught to eat with our mouth closed and quietly. One of my coworkers was a fairly recent Chinese immigrant. When several of us had lunch together, he would make smacking sounds and slurp his soup loudly. Correct me if I am wrong, but I understand that is intended to be a compliment to the cook in some cultures. He was not following the norm and as a result was perceived to be ill-mannered.

At a macro level I see your point. However the example cited was an assumed group of friends all out to dinner and only one man removed his hat. At this micro level, I'd look for new friends.

You make good points about how manners evolve over time from "norms".

Rick

MartySQ · 12-25-2014, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwelveVolt

Does telling an adult to mind his manners constitute good manners? Would you tell someone to remove his hat?

Depends on the relationship I had with them. If he was offending everyone, and his attempts were having the opposite effect of what he thought they should have, I would probably clue them in! It would be rude not to...IMO.

V-Man · 12-29-2014, 08:07 PM

Manners . . .

When the twins were very young, I was very poor. We ate out very rarely (couldn't afford to). Twice while dining out, random strangers paid for our dinner after complimenting the twins' behavior. Both times were at family style restaurants where other children were running around like savages!

I was taught to have manners and behave in public (not that it did much good in my case), and I tried to raise my children to behave and have manners. In their case, it at least seems to have taken hold.

I try to be polite to everyone and a smile or even just a "Good Morning" or "head bob" acknowledgement seems to go a long ways. Opening or holding doors for women (and men), pulling out a woman's chair, and standing when a woman enters a room just seem to be a lost art anymore.

Before I retired from the police department, I several times found officers watching the videos from my dash cam. They were just amazed and found it quite funny that I was still polite and called people "Sir" or "Ma'am" while explaining to them that if they didn't do exactly what I told them to do, they were going to get shot. I firmly believe that being polite and showing respect (even to people that didn't deserve any respect) kept me from having to fight with (or do worse to) some of the people I had to arrest.

oakcreekeric · 12-30-2014, 07:15 AM

V-Man...

Thank you for your service to your community !!!

Fred1609 · 12-30-2014, 08:11 AM

V-man you are right. The most important thing I found was to be civil to people. Even if they didn't deserve your respect it cost nothing to be civil and often that led to the successful conclusion of the contact. I often watch folks interacting and I can see by the way the conversation is going that they are gonna end up in a fight. And its because they aren't being civil. Todays kids respond with "No problem" when they are thanked. I don't think its them being impolite but it drives me nuts. What ever happened to "Thank you"?