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Old 02-11-2013, 04:27 PM   #211
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When asked what it's like being married 25 years I just say it seem like only 5 minutes...


Under water.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:04 PM   #212
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Wouldn't it be nice if we could deal with life's problems like a dog:

If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.
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Old 02-13-2013, 11:43 AM   #213
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I saw a kidnapping today....

I thought I should do something about it, but then I decided to just let him sleep.
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:23 PM   #214
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1. You cannot put soap in your eyes.
2. You cannot count your hair.
3. You cannot breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You did number 3.
5. When you did number 3 you realized it's possible, but you look like a dog.
6. You are smiling right now because I fooled you.
7. Share this so you can have revenge too.
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:09 PM   #215
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alvinc View Post
Wouldn't it be nice if we could deal with life's problems like a dog:

If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.
That's not the way I heard it. Reader's Digest version. ^^^^



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Old 02-20-2013, 06:34 PM   #216
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Police stop a fellow speeding on the highway: "Let me see your driver's license."
"Officer when will you guys get your crap together? Yesterday, you took my license away from me, now today you want me to show it to you?"
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:32 PM   #217
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What is Black and White and Red all over-----Newspaper
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:48 PM   #218
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Quote:
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What is Black and White and Red all over-----Newspaper
Or. A blushing Zebra.
Cliff
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Old 02-20-2013, 08:49 PM   #219
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You're both



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Old 02-20-2013, 09:35 PM   #220
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papaw.1

Have you heard of the new redneck insurance-------My fault
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Old 02-23-2013, 06:14 PM   #221
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I love threads that make me laugh.. mine is ( if it wasnt for bad luck, I wouldnt have any luck at all) i say often.haha..and my kid told me a joke yesterday. whats invisible and smells like carrots?
rabbit farts..
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:41 AM   #222
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
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Old 06-30-2013, 09:11 AM   #223
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One-liners

Hillary won't be running in 2016 because they found a brain tumor during her last colonoscopy.
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Old 06-30-2013, 09:19 AM   #224
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When a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months.
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