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Old 12-03-2020, 10:24 AM   #155
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Old 12-03-2020, 10:38 AM   #156
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Old 12-03-2020, 01:41 PM   #157
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Old 12-03-2020, 03:49 PM   #158
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I'm a victim of circumstances - Curly ca. 1938


And I think it was Rodney Dangerfield... When I was born, I was so ugly , the doctor slapped my mother!
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Old 12-03-2020, 05:38 PM   #159
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I'm a victim of circumstances - Curly ca. 1938


And I think it was Rodney Dangerfield... When I was born, I was so ugly , the doctor slapped my mother!
Yep, little trivia on Rodney, he didn't get his real start in stand up until he was in his 40's.

Last week my house was on fire. My wife told the kids, 'Be quiet, you’ll wake up Daddy.'"
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Old 12-03-2020, 07:30 PM   #160
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Old 12-04-2020, 07:36 AM   #161
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Old 12-04-2020, 08:38 AM   #162
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Another Rodney Dangerfield:
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.


I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
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Old 12-04-2020, 09:43 AM   #163
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Old 12-04-2020, 10:17 AM   #164
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RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
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Old 12-04-2020, 10:27 AM   #165
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Agreed, the absolute KING of one liners, the guy was a killer. What made it most unique and hilarious was, his "loser" subject matter was himself. Which made him more loveable really. Not to mention his delivery style of such.
A real pro.
Remember this one? I believe it went; "Yeah when I was born the doctor came out and told my father....we did everything we could but he pulled through anyway."
Rapping Rodney: "When I was born I brought no joy"
chorus singers: "No respect, no respect"
RR: "my parents said they wanted a boy!"
CS: "no respect, no respect"

No sure if one can YooToob this, but in a previous century Dangerfield had an HBO special "Opening Night at Dangerfield's". One of the other comedians on the show was Bruce Baum, who I'd had the pleasure of working with previously.
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Old 12-05-2020, 10:49 AM   #166
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If it moves, salute it! If it doesn't move, paint it!
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Old 12-05-2020, 05:44 PM   #167
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Old 12-05-2020, 08:35 PM   #168
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