COWBOY RULES
for
Texas, Arizona, Colorado, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Wyoming,
Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho and the rest of the
"Wild West" are as follows
1. Pull your pants up...you look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right...your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a "gravel road". We drive pick-ups because we want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on that Lexus....drive it or get out of the way.
4.
They are cows. That's why they smell like cows! They smell like MONEY to us...get over it. If you don't like it, I-10 and I-40 heads east and west, I-17 and I-15 heads north and south....pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed! We have $250,000 Combines that are only driven 3 weeks a year!
6. Every person in the Wild West waves...it's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it right outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah...we eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. If you must have sushi and caviar...it's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's not a "vegetarian special" on the menu. You can order a steak or you can order the Chef's Salad and just pick off the two pounds of ham or turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and ketsup. Oh yeah....we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...it ain' real chili.
13. If you brink "coke" into my house, it'd better be brown, wet and served cold. If you bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she'd better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, Yankees, Mets, Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah...we have golf courses, but don't hit the water hazards...it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasting car stereo...that thumpity-thump thump stuff ain't music anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers....refer back to #1
xoxoxox
& Slowpoke, USMC [1993 Gulfstream Sunvoyager M8345, F53 Chassis ]
You be a cowboy in my books! 
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