I don't know what style your cord between the coach and the toad is but this one by BlueOx is the one I use. It has a 7 pin connector on one end with a 6 pin on the other end that fits into the included plug that mounts on the baseplate.
The cord is an expandable type that will not drag when you lay it across the top of the tow bar.
As for the Patriot, from your description it sounds like you May not be leaving it plugged into the Aux socket in the car. Or, you do not have the Ign turned to the ACC position and the Aux 12V socket is not live.
When you set the Patriot in place, attach the claw to the brake pedal, adjust the seat forward so the brake lights are on, then move the seat back just enough to turn the brake litghts off.
Plug in the breakaway cord to the Patriot. Plug the Patriot power cord into the Aux (Cigar Lighter) socket. Ignition must be in the Acc position so the Aux plug is live.
Turn the Patriot on and allow it to go through its calibration sequence. Leave the power cord plugged in. Do not remove.
With the engine off, power cord plugged in, punch the set up button and the Patriot will cycle three times and give you a ready display.
At this point you can adjust the gain using the black knob. It defaults to 5 but I set mine at 3 which makes the device less sensitive. I find at the default 5 setting will cause the brakes to be too sensitive and apply the brakes when there is no need. The only time I want my toad brakes to apply is during a Hard Braking event or Emergency Stop.
So now you are ready to go. The Patriot must be plugged into the 12V outlet at all times. There is a little red indicator on the side of the 12V plug. This must be lit indicating it's getting power.
Hope this helps,
2019 Unity LTV CB, pushed by a 2013 Honda CRV, BlueOx Baseplate, Aventa Bar & Patriot Brake