A question for the womens!

[brandss]

LOL, I read this thread when it was first started, page 1, and just now saw that it has grown to many more. Holy Cow.

All I can say is that I am not equal to my wife in all skills and she is not equal to me in all skills. If I was honest, she beats me at most things. Anyone who says we, men and women, are all equal in every aspect of life is just silly, my opinion of course.

Today was a great example. My wife and I have figured out that she is so much better pulling the rig into a campsite than I am. I am a bit better at giving directions via the walkie talkie to assist her; It's what works for us. Tonight we pulled into a campsite, not sure why but we always get "help" from the campers around us. She and I have figured out to ignore all those around us and the two of us get our rig in place, the first time, every time. My wife's the bomb.

[lady puffin]

Even though I am not a solo RV person, I may be in the future. I have been independent all my life and plan to continue in the future. As a women, I realize there are things that men do better and things that I can do better than men. But I do know with age, both men and women are not as capable of self protection based on strength alone. Same with chores around the rig, such as hefting the tow hitch or carting in a Costco size pack of water. We have to learn to adapt to the limitations that nature has sprung on us. Are any of us helpless, no we are not, but sometimes you may need to ask for a bit of help. I think any of the folks I have met during our travels would be willing to assist a fellow rv'er if asked. I know that I will help if possible and I hope if needed in the future, that someone else would be willing to help me if asked.

[C5c5]

Originally Posted by Itchytoe

I bet the solo women on this forum can fix things that break. Maybe you should teach your sister the basics, just as someone taught you. Or put her in a situation where she actually has to fix something and I bet she'll turn out handier than you think.

It is very true many women, myself included, can learn or are maybe already adept at fixing things that break in their RVs. The relevant question to ask is are most women interested in learning these skills or improving these skills. When compared to the average man, the average woman prioritizes other things.

[C5c5]

Originally Posted by Itchytoe

Yes, there are some women who are very capable fighters who can even make it through Army Ranger school. Those women are rare and not representative of the fairer sex in that regard. Their existence doesn't impact the fact that the average man is more capable than the average women in terms of combat ability.

I will also add that these few elite women are walking "broke" machines in that they have most likely already started to permanently disable their bodies beyond that what a woman is capable of handling. The studies done in the military show these women will get hurt very soon and they will probably have to be medicaled out. They will suffer the rest of their lives with disabilities from overstressing their bodies.

Yes, this also happens to men. But it happens to these elite women at an alarmingly higher and faster rate.
Men are naturally better able to handle the bodily stresses of combat training and combat.

[rarebear.nm]

I wish we did not need to even have a thread like this about the genders. Agree that on the average men and women have different strengths.

In the past I work with a gal that traveled the rodeo circuit and was restricted to things like barrel racing. Outside of the arena she could ride the bulls as well as the guys and broke horses on a working ranch. She is a very smart and wonderful person. Another gal was the only computer hardware tech in her nationwide company. She was also my account tech. After a few years I hired her for a software job because she was smart, learned real fast and never thought she couldn't do something. She was a star employee.

There are those women and men who for whatever reason do not want to learn different skills and compete outside of traditional roles. I understand and accept that. Like some men can not do things other men do. I'd never ride a bull or drive a race car.

With all that said, I think many men and women who want to RV solo would be wise to learn some basic defense skills and mind set. For the most part I fell much safer in the outdoors than in a city. Bad folks look for easy targets, there are more potential targets in a metro area than in the boondocks. Simple return on their investment.

However, I do believe anyone should have equal opportunity to do what they want to try and then compensated equally for the work they do.

[C5c5]

Originally Posted by Itchytoe

I really don't see a difference between men and women in terms of what they can and can't do with an RV. It seems to me that if women and men are both capable of essentially the same thing when it comes to solo RVing, then there wouldn't be such a big deal made over women who are solo RVers. Why be a *woman* solo RVer when you can just be a solo RVer? Why the need for the woman specific language?

I guess what I'm trying to get at is this: Are you a solo RVer, or a *woman* solo RVer, and why?

Do not forget, single middle-aged women are one of the largest groups of people coming into the RV lifestyle.

It makes sense from a supply and demand view that we see so many articles and videos catering towards single solo women and their perceived needs.

Much of what is presented is answers to questions asked from readers and viewers. The articles and videos are likely responding to the market demands of their growing viewer demographics.

Think about it. Middle-aged single women completely setting out on a new lifestyle. How might they be feeling? What type of concerns might they be focused on. This demographic's birth range would be somewhere from the mid 1950's to the mid 1970's. The types of questions you mentioned are probably not unrealistic for gals born within those years.

Think too: many in this burgeoning group might be newly or recently divorced. They probably feel very vulnerable concerning security with the RV lifestyle compared to the stix and brix they were used to.

[Bizcrate]

I read this thread from beginning to end and I'm amazed at where some of the replies had wandered off to. It was all good reading, although sometimes uncomfortable in it's back and forth.
I'm a solo RVer who happens to be female.
I full-timed for about 2 years right out of the gate, having never owned or driven an RV prior to launching myself into my grand adventure. I was newly retired and had been widowed for 3 years. I read everything I could find on the subject of RVing and solo RVing. I feel like I know the articles that ItchyToe was referencing in his original post.
Being a woman who was entering her 6th decade of life I had had a strong indoctrination in the "weaker sex" philosophies of learning. One could not live through those years of the 50's all the way up until more recent times without someone cautioning you to be careful, be safe, don't walk around after dark alone, carry pepper spray, don't trust anyone (meaning men) that you don't know, etc., etc., and on and on. The message was clear: you are the weaker sex and you are vulnerable to all sorts of dangers. More subtle was that you needed a man to be fully protected.
For any woman to buck this line of thinking and act confidently and independently was often looked upon in wonder and amazement. Sometimes you were admired for your your "grit", but most often you would be looked at as though you were, at best, naive; and at worst as stupidly "asking for it". No telling what "it" might be - but "it" was going to be bad.
To be sure, none of this old fashioned line of thinking had anything to do with the female sex's intelligence, skills or abilities. It existed nonetheless and a young woman growing up would be hard pressed to escape it.
ItchyToe, I found much of the advice that you referenced to be the same as you. It was general information that had very little to do with being female - just cautionary reminders for anyone entering the RV lifestyle.
Some of that advice, however, was directly related to the "weaker sex indoctrination" that I reference above. And it perpetuates the same fears of inadequacy that lead to the feeling that I don't belong here unless I have a man to protect me. My favorite example of this was the advice that a solo woman should buy a very large size pair of men's boots and leave them outside of her camper door. Supposedly this was to keep away any would be bad guys much in the same way that a string of garlic would deter any vampires.
Thankfully, a new generation is growing up without embracing those weaker sex indoctrinations. My daughter would no more bat eye about driving cross country solo than she would driving across town. She understands her capabilities and does not judge others abilities to do differently. Her father-in-law admires her greatly for her "grit". She loves him and privately accepts that he's just from a different generation.

[Wbago97]

I'll venture that a woman can have the same mechanical skills as a man, and that it's safer for a woman to be a SOLO RV'er in the USA than to travel abroad alone.

[winniman]

I taught both of my daughters that they could be anything they wanted to be. In fact, my oldest daughter is a professional mechanical engineer. I think the reason solo women prefer to meet and socialize with the exclusion of men is, they get tired of being hit on all the time. This is why they have women's only exercise clubs as well. Woman can do and be, anything they want to. The question is, do they want to. Do men want to be nurses. Not many. Do women want to be bricklayers. Not many. As far as feeling secure, I don't think a 120 lb man feels any safer than a 120 lb woman in the wrong place.

[MrsChilerick]

Originally Posted by Bizcrate

I read this thread from beginning to end and I'm amazed at where some of the replies had wandered off to. It was all good reading, although sometimes uncomfortable in it's back and forth.

I'm a solo RVer who happens to be female.

I full-timed for about 2 years right out of the gate, having never owned or driven an RV prior to launching myself into my grand adventure. I was newly retired and had been widowed for 3 years. I read everything I could find on the subject of RVing and solo RVing. I feel like I know the articles that ItchyToe was referencing in his original post.

Being a woman who was entering her 6th decade of life I had had a strong indoctrination in the "weaker sex" philosophies of learning. One could not live through those years of the 50's all the way up until more recent times without someone cautioning you to be careful, be safe, don't walk around after dark alone, carry pepper spray, don't trust anyone (meaning men) that you don't know, etc., etc., and on and on. The message was clear: you are the weaker sex and you are vulnerable to all sorts of dangers. More subtle was that you needed a man to be fully protected.

For any woman to buck this line of thinking and act confidently and independently was often looked upon in wonder and amazement. Sometimes you were admired for your your "grit", but most often you would be looked at as though you were, at best, naive; and at worst as stupidly "asking for it". No telling what "it" might be - but "it" was going to be bad.

To be sure, none of this old fashioned line of thinking had anything to do with the female sex's intelligence, skills or abilities. It existed nonetheless and a young woman growing up would be hard pressed to escape it.

ItchyToe, I found much of the advice that you referenced to be the same as you. It was general information that had very little to do with being female - just cautionary reminders for anyone entering the RV lifestyle.

Some of that advice, however, was directly related to the "weaker sex indoctrination" that I reference above. And it perpetuates the same fears of inadequacy that lead to the feeling that I don't belong here unless I have a man to protect me. My favorite example of this was the advice that a solo woman should buy a very large size pair of men's boots and leave them outside of her camper door. Supposedly this was to keep away any would be bad guys much in the same way that a string of garlic would deter any vampires.

Thankfully, a new generation is growing up without embracing those weaker sex indoctrinations. My daughter would no more bat eye about driving cross country solo than she would driving across town. She understands her capabilities and does not judge others abilities to do differently. Her father-in-law admires her greatly for her "grit". She loves him and privately accepts that he's just from a different generation.

[emoji1360] well said.

[Kapow]

Nicely said. As a female RVer, a retired vet I see this type of thinking daily. It is changing like most things these days, slowly. younger folks get it and some older still hang on to old stuff. I just ignore it unless it gets in my way, then I change direction or address it. I counsel young folks to not get excited about old type thinking because they are changing the future for the best, show respect and know that regardless of “Skills” & Abilities” Yes all humans are humans and should be afforded equal treatment regardless of some narrow thinking. Skills & Abilities are just that skills & abilities they are not scales of human superiority or worth. Those that excel in non-steriotypal areas are not exceptions or stronger or weaker they are simply good at what they do. We call it excelling and following their dreams. Female soldiers, male nurses, female fire fighters, male cooks, female law enforcers, male waiters, female mechanics and male florist and so much more are just people doing their own thing the best they can and trying to have a decent life without the stress of meeting some one else’s expectation of what they think they can or should be capable of or how they should act. For all of you doing your thing the best you can, I wish you much strenght to withstand the naysayers and strive on. Don’t forget to not take them too seriously and focus on you and not them.

[Solo_RV_Guy]

The 'best man for the job' may well be a woman. I'm not going to shortchange someone or the task at hand to fulfill a preconceived stereotype.


I'll be the guy making a fresh batch of sun tea, all the solo travelers are welcome to stop by for a hello and refreshments.


Safe travels, pleasant miles and great friends are on the horizon. I'll see you there!

[oatmeal]

Originally Posted by winniman

As far as feeling secure, I don't think a 120 lb man feels any safer than a 120 lb woman in the wrong place.

Why would that be the case?

[rbTN]

As an older male, father to a young lady and a young man, both raised to know they can achieve anything they set their mind to, and they have quite admirably, I would like to offer something a slight bit different.

There is a difference in being cautious and being afraid.

As a father I did tell my smaller stature daughter about being careful of her situation and surroundings. I also told her 6' 4" 220lb athletic brother the same things. Why? Because I have seen what some males (I won't use the term men) will do. They will prey on anything they see as weaker.

I would encourage everyone to be situation-ally aware no matter where you are. When I start rv'ing solo later this spring I will be cautious but I will not be afraid. I would hope any rv'ers do the same.